end of scene

I finished the scene. This is still the same character talking. 

“As for going home, look. It’s my job to tell you when you are screwing up. So far, you’ve got nothing to worry about. But you better be getting more of a feeling for where you are, who’s around you. You can’t go on any more just humming and yammering your day away. You need all the help you can get in there, and the help you’ll need is out here. The wind that blows against your car is not just wind, your organs aren’t cleaning out your bloodstream automatically: those are beings in there! You’ve got to know you are completely out of control, and you owe thanks to everything for keeping you alive, and for making you alive in the first place. Once you notice those beings, you’ve got to thank them; take an interest in them, try to love them, or at least honor their work. Then maybe you will recognize them in there, and you won’t be lost.

“Oh yeah, time’s coming down. Come on back. You should be able to come out of there by yourself.

delay

“Come on. If I have to come in there to get you, I promise I will scare the shit out of you. I mean it.”

Drooler stiffens, eyes big, awakes.

Sitter goes to a computer, types most of the time drooler talks.

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you. I heard your voice coming from a certain place, I wouldn’t say above me, but I looked toward it and somehow it pulled me here.

“Everything is so accelerated when I am here. I didn’t have to go back to the blue place at all, but was right back looking into a world in my chest. As soon as I looked into it, the things there started moving. I could tell they were getting ready to leave again, and I knew it would hurt again, but I had to keep looking.

“Some of the things were the same from the last time. I didn’t know what they were, really, but I knew I should know. That was the same as before. I would see these things rise up, come toward me, totally come right up so it was all I could see, and then pause. I could feel each one wait for me to recognize it. I wanted to. Then as they gave up and pulled away, part of me got pulled out. It happened several times, and I was feeling weaker and more miserable, starting to fear.

“I don’t know if you were talking to me this time and put this thought in my head, but I remembered the cardinal’s song, in the morning outside my window, that part right after the very loud ‘cheerwu, cheerwu, wreet, wreet, wreet, wreet, wreet,’ where he makes a soft, deep rattle like he’s inhaling; that part came to me as I was looking at one of the things. Somehow I knew that the thing I was seeing was the song of the cardinal, and maybe it was actually the cardinal himself, or all cardinals, but it fit, and I felt like I was right with him, and I thanked him. I don’t know if I said anything, or if I bowed, or smiled, but I was very happy to see him and to know who he was.

“Anyway, he started moving away, but I went with him. I stayed close and I followed him out of there, and then I saw him, really. I realized that before I was just seeing his picture, or my memory of him, because now I was definitely seeing him. Him, like he was a god, but I knew that he and I had something in common, and that I wasn’t just a speck. I could tell that the place he brought me is a place I belong too, with him. I actually felt like I belonged there…”

pause

“Have you been typing everything I have been saying?”

“No, I’m updating my blog. Nearly everything you’re saying is boring. The only thing that mattered was that you got yourself out of there by yourself, and that you followed one of those beings out into its home. The rest is just you indulging in feeling special. You waste yourself talking so much. Every time you have an experience, a real experience, you wreck it by talking about it. Then what you remember is what you said about it, not what actually happened. You’d be much better off if you didn’t talk at all. I would ask you questions if it was important.

“Anyway, get out of here. My five o’clock is usually early. Same time next week.”

end